


wot is a girl

by neverforgethechogiwa111



Series: zikun shitposts [2]
Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: M/M, comedy?, mainly dialogue oops, zikun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-28 23:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14460627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverforgethechogiwa111/pseuds/neverforgethechogiwa111
Summary: xukun's dad thinks he is disciplining xukun with his 'no girls' rule.but his 'no girls' rule backfired on him because xukun is gay.





	wot is a girl

**Author's Note:**

> this is a shitpost created from an incorrect quote.

"dad, cant i have some friends over?" xukun asked.

 

"sure son, but no girls!"

 

xukun died of happiness and texted ziyi.

 

_from: xukun;)_

_to: wank ziyi_

_u wanna come over;))_

 

_from: wank ziyi_

_to: xukun;)_

_ill b ther in 10_  

 

ziyi arrived _eleven_  minutes later, he rang the doorbell twice. before xukun could make it down the stairs, his dad had already opened the door for him. 

 

"so this is your friend?" he asked.

 

"yeah, we're really good friends. now let's g-," xukun's dad decided to ask more.

 

"he looks smart, is he smart?" 

 

"yes, now-," he was interrupted again.

 

"what does his parents do?" he asked. xukun wasn't impressed and didn't reply, so his dad decided to ask for himself, "what do your parents do...?" he trailed off as he didn't know his name.

 

"mainly finance. my name is wang ziyi," he replied, staying polite because he's wang ziyi.

 

"oh nice, so how old are you?" he dug deeper.

 

"twenty-two, i'm in university."

 

"ah, so an older friend of xukun's. be sure to guide him well, especially with girls. he's never had a girlfriend," clearly, xukun's dad thought he was being a cool dad. of course xukun had never had a girlfriend, that doesn't mean he never had a  _boy_ friend.

 

"hahah, will do," ziyi put on the  _fakest_ smile he'd ever seen.

 

"okay then dad, now you're done scaring my friend we're going up to my room," xukun told him, grabbing ziyi's hand and bouncing up the stairs. they sauntered into xukun's pastel green themed room and jumped straight onto his bed. well ziyi lay down calmly, xukun jumped onto the bed and plopped himself on ziyi. 

 

"funny how we've been dating for three years and i've never met your dad before," ziyi mentioned.

 

"i've avoided it for so long but it was going to happen one day," xukun mutter into ziyi's chest, "take your shoes off."

 

"i can't do that if you're lying on me can i?" 

 

"yes we can," and then xukun started fucking around with his feet, trying to pull off ziyi's shoes with his own two feet.

 

it actually worked.

 

eventually.

 

"see? we can do it with me lying on top of you," a thought then passed through xukun's brain to his mouth (he had no filter),"you know what else we can do witth me on top of you?"

 

"shut the fuck up, xukun. you can't even top in your dreams."

 

"u rite."

 

~

 

them not locking the door was one of the dumbest mistakes they could've made. 

 

why? xukun's dad walked in at the _wrong time._  

 

things just started getting 'good' (no tops on, xukun literally only had his boxers on, you know the rest) and xukun's dad decided to barge in the door asking all sorts of questions. he didn't even notice them the first ten seconds he was in the room. when he did, he just stared.

 

no one knew what to say.

 

"hi dad..." xukun smiled awkwardly, trying to ignore the fact  he was almost naked.

 

"wha-... what's..." xukun's dad was speechless, "are you gay?"

 

"i love how you're just finding out now."

 

"but you never told me!"

 

"but you never asked," xukun had his point there, "so can you...like...leave now?" his dad left. once the door had closed behind him, they burst out laughing.

 

"there are so many ways to come out and this is the way you took!" ziyi chanted in between roars of laughter.

 

"this is definitely something i'm not going to forget for years."

 

"this is definitely something we're telling our kids."  
  


 

"what kids?"

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> no, xukun's dad doesn't have a name.


End file.
